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Posted by VisiblyPerfect_InvisiblyScarred on October 27th, 2012
I am losing it. I feel like I am crawling my way through every day just to make it longer without SI. It?s been eight months since I injured in the way that I normally do. ?I can?t say I haven?t tried other methods, but the one that I am mostly inclined to I haven?t done in eight months.
I?ve been going absolutely insane recently. So many things I feel are attacking me. I just feel hopeless and awful and just downright worth nothing at all.
So much pressure is on me to be okay.
It just frustrates me how I feel so guilty when I struggle with going back to SI.
Can?t we all just admit that none of us are ?okay? and we never will be??
We are living in a world where being ?okay? only means ?I am going to put on this mask just like everyone else and pretend there is nothing wrong.? ?That?s NOT OKAY!
I am going to keep fighting the urge. I have to or I?ll never get over it. It?s just so hard when I have to act like I am the happiest person ever in front of everyone. I don?t mean that I want to sulk in front of everyone. I just don?t want to be fake.
I just want to be real and admit that I am not okay without the fear of judgement or guilt.
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Source: http://selfinjury.com/blog/?p=24089
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